Why Are Many Women Attracted To The "Bad Boy" Type?
Anyone care to venture an opinion? Why do nice guys finish last with women? Why does it usually (but not always) take a woman to be in her 40's before she starts recognizing other traits in men?
Good question, Khwan.
I went to Venezuela and took along Tina & Sarah. They spent a considerable time with this German fellow who would show up barefooted and unshaven at the disco every night. They said he was a “go nowhere guy”, but; they thought he had that “dangerous” aura about him and they were completely enamored with his gestalt. In the meanwhile; I was enamored with a young Venezuelan lady who was ½ South American native Indian & ¼ Negro & ¼?; just so beautiful. But: I digress with my memories………ahhhhhhhh…….where was I? Oh!
It’s something to do with an innate urge within many of us to have the “unattainable”. To strive to have something beyond our grasp that we can call our own. So; the woman (or the man, because this happens to men, too): we often chose to go the way of the struggle rather than the easy path. Maybe she won’t find the $2M, but; will find a nice guy and settle down in Palo Alto which is better than settling for the 1st guy who comes along with a good pick up line, sells encyclopedias door-door and will leave her for some frumpy housewife.
So: Sharon’s set a standard; unlike many others who think with the wrong head. As much as several of us passionately disagree with her demeanor and bluntness; is Paris Hilton any better? How many millions of dollars will Elin Nordegren (Tiger Woods’ “wife”) walk off with after just a few years? No-one makes disparaging remarks about the once-nanny; now millionair-ess. **Sharon: take a hint here: take a few golf lessons and follow the PGA circuit. It’ll be waaaaaaay better than trying to get any of us old farts to part with our 1st minted nickels (advice given in kindness). You’ve got the wrong audience here, for sure. But: I can empathize with your plight.
It’s hard wired into us; this urge, this attraction for something else: “this attraction to the Bad Boy/Girl.”
It’s a basis for your “yahoogroup” Kwan. Men (and I hope women; Sharon & Sarah) looking for romance in a disparate culture from our own; trying to achieve the impossible (for some)\; trying to find what eludes them in their own culture and/or upbringing. Something amiss or missing. Like a piece missing from their life jigsaw puzzle. It’s an itch in a hard-to-scratch place.
One night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble
Not much between despair and ecstasy
One night in Bangkok and the tough guys tumble
Can't be too careful with your company
I can feel the devil walking next to me
OR:
I could escape this feeling, with my China Girl
I feel a wreck without my, little China Girl
I hear her heart beating, loud as thunder
Saw the stars crashing
I'm a mess without my little China Girl
Wake up in the morning. Where's my, little China Girl?
I hear our heart's beating, loud as thunder
I saw the stars crashing down
I'm feelin' tragic like I'm Marlon Brando
When I look at my China Girl
I could pretend that nothing really meant too much
When I look at my China Girl
If this drive or need “for something else” were not within us we’d likely never get much past our own little suburbs. We wouldn’t have made it to the moon; North America would still have lots of buffalo and I just wouldn’t have been forced to have put a supercharger on the F-150 (really: who needs 572 hp to run to the grocery store?). But; we all (well: most of us) strive to “have something else”. Hence: Sharon desperately seeking any male specimen with $2M US(as an example). It’s doubtful she will find this, but: you have to give her some credit for striving for the unattainable instead of trolling Wal-Mart and Jack-In-The-Box. And: hence; all the guys desperately seeking diminutive and obedient hottie wives in Asia. Especially the “fat ugly poor slobs” type although they likely aren’t all that poor because they’d have to afford airfare and moving costs (so give them a bit of credit; ‘cause they do have some money. They might not have a lot after their wife discovers the real thought about the “fat and slob” part of the equation and leaves them for a younger model. LOL; then they’ll be poor for sure!)
For the women who want the “bad boy”: I think it’s that innate urge to have a male specimen of the human species that they can control or they see him (on some basic level) as being more desirable as a mate. So; back to the mating instinct.
Of course this explains why so many, many people get divorced; bad choices (right?).
Going back to another comment you made about older guys flying off to Asia for diminutive and obedient hottie wives. Again: most have become disillusioned with the “Paris Hilton” image.
We have a young girl who lives next door. Tattoos (we call ‘em “Tramp Stamps” up here in the Great White North). I pity her mother and step father; it’s like having a cat in season in the house. She’d be rich if she weren’t so busy giving it away. Anyways: this is what we’ve come to expect from the North American person; few morals and little family values. So; as we got smarter (with age, my dear Khwan); those of who could/can looked further afield and some of us came home with a spouse form a different culture, race and country.
Survival of the species as it were; our race needs the genetic dispersion. Again: it’s hard wired into us; a simple innate internal urge to better the gene pool rather than setting on our asses in a trailer in Alabama on welfare with 7 offspring with varying degrees of disability and no education(to make an outlandish example).
So: it survival of the species. Blame it on the genes.
For me: it was that sense of family I saw with my wife’s family when I 1st went to visit them all. North Americans have lost that closeness with the “Nuclear Family” (read Alvin Toffler).
We’ve spread out and left our nests behind. Having no anchors(family); that’s another sense of loss that many cannot explain nor truly see. It’s part of what we don’t understand in mid-Eastern culture (and this gets us into a whack of trouble). [It’s one of the reasons we have trouble with the middle East: if you hurt one person or kill one: why the whole family is now an enemy: aunts uncles, cousins, brothers, sisters; like all of a sudden you have 4 generations and 387 enemies because you injured or insulted 1 person! YIKES!). Anyways: becoming a part of an Asian family, for me, returned that sense of “family 1st” and closeness for me. My 4 sisters and 1 brother are within 700 miles, but; it is my family in Thailand who calls and asks about me the most (and I them); we see out Thai family more often and are more welcome also.
So: that’s what I think (and; I am paid quite well for my opinion).
I'm just a soul whose intentions are good,
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood.
OR:
I'm a man who thinks, not a man who drinks, so please let me live my life
Jerry.
__._,_.___
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