Hi. Long-time silent reader here.
Yes, there are Asian/American couples who genuinely love each other, get married, and have happy lives together. Sometimes the intention of the men is to just go there and seek out cheap sex with a cute Asian girl (or girls plural). Sometimes the intentions of the women is to just hook a rich guy (or guys plural). Both of these exist, but that isn't the point.
I met both kinds of girls. I was originally contacted by a Thai girl in 2001 on a personals site. I was 27 and she was 18. We chatted every night and called each other. We sent gifts to each other. A couple of months later, I came to find out that she was already married to an older gentleman in the Netherlands, but claimed to be separated and seeking a divorce even though he was sending her $300 a month to go to school. She said, "Send me $700 so I can divorce him and I'll wait for you, or I'll go work in Austria." I didn't have that kind of money, nor did I think that was a good situation, so I didn't, and she did what she said she'd do. She went to Austria. And she got pregnant and married an Austrian man while there. Online, I met the 1st husband that she divorced and he said she was a dishonest woman and we were both better of without her. He divorced her so that she could marry the Austrian.
While writing people via an instant messenger trying to get more answers about my "ex", I then happened to meet a kind Thai woman in 2002 who heard of my hard luck story and agreed to help me. We chatted every night while she worked at a University. At first she was being a detective for me, but we enjoyed chatting and fell in love. She was closer to my age (25 and 28 at the time) recently broke up with a dishonest Thai guy and I guess we both happened to meet at the right place at the right time. We chatted and exchanged gifts for two years until I flew there in 2004 and spent a month in Thailand meeting her family, her friends, and I went with her to work every day at her University, who graciously allowed me to be there. We then arranged for a fiance visa upon my return to the States and she flew to the United States later that year. We were married in 2005, and have been hopelessly in love and inseparable ever since.
It isn't easy though. First off, she misses her family, and tickets are expensive. Occasionally visiting her family is tough because I'm not a rich guy, so you must know about this. Second, and even more difficult, is that Immigration is very tough, especially after 9/11 when they tightened the rules. I'm not a rich guy, so my family had to help us. And the Immigration offices make mistakes. Her 10-year greencard was extremely difficult to get. It is expensive and complex. We were declined due to a clerical error and even needed a US Congressman to assist us, which he did and we are grateful for his help. She just got her card a month ago, but it was an extremely stressful and expensive ordeal for us. But all is fine, and just last week we celebrated the 4th anniversary of our wedding .
Also, the former girl called and wrote me back two years ago. She divorced her Austrian husband after having two kids claiming he was bisexual and spent more time with gay men than her. She was happy to find I was married, and she proclaimed her sorrow for what she did to me and asked for forgiveness. I am a Christian and I forgave her - even though I was very hurt by her years earlier, and my wife and I have remained friends with her, but neither me or my wife can entirely trust her because we both know of her past.
Now, I must say, that for some of us Western men, Eastern women are a breath of fresh air. Not all, but many Western women act like men, look like men, and carry so much baggage that a respectful, pure, honest woman here is hard to find, and never single when you find her. I always tell people how in the States that our women seem like they all have chips on their shoulders, yet getting off a plane anywhere in Asia seems like a breath of fresh air. Kindness, smiles, friendliness and respect. Every woman I met in Thailand was a sweetheart. All of my wife's friends and family were all so kind, nice, and friendly. Truly the land of smiles. I wish I could say the same for where I live. I often say I have more close friends on the other side of the world than I have in my own home city.
So, in short, yes, some women are just out for money. Some men are just out for sex. Some are both looking for love. Then there's some that are in-between all of the above. But the answer is, YES, there are real, honest people out there. The trouble is finding them, and if you truly are in love, doing everything you can to be together - which isn't easy when that person is on the other side of the world and you need the Government's permission to bring her to the States. But it does happen. I'm living proof, we know of others who are living proof (my wife is friends with many via USA/Farang/Asia message boards), and I'm sure some of those people are here. Just like anywhere, true love does exist. Just like anywhere, some of the marriages fail. But just like anywhere, it's about finding the right person. :-)
-Chris & Au
--- On Tue, 1/13/09, rick gsell <possibilityofhappin ess@yahoo. com> wrote:
From: rick gsell <possibilityofhappin ess@yahoo. com>
Subject: [asianamericanroman ce] farong
To: asianamericanromanc e@yahoogroups. com
Date: Tuesday, January 13, 2009, 9:46 PM
Hi,I just found this group and thought I would see whats up!!
My story,the short version.
I went to Thailand in 2006 with some friends and met a beautiful young girl at one of the guys I was with wedding. She was a dancer at the wedding.we were introduced though the village school teacher. I was with an English man and his Thai wife.It turns out that she was 14. The English guy says"age makes no difference in Thailand",I wanted to believe so I did.
She lives with her grandparents. the grandfather said 200,000 baht and you can marry now.I said what?!? Then I find out I can go to jail for being with a girl under 18. I must be crazy but I was in love,the connection was very strong. I decided I would support her so she could go to school and we could get married when she was 18.I also went back to Thailand every April and October.So the phone calls and e-mails ensued. I miss you ,I love you basically. my last trip I realize she doesn't love me,in fact I think she resents me.Why?,all I have done is love and support her( no sex).Then I realize she has been telling me she loves me so I keep sending support money,of course!! She has done this because she has to for the family.So It all came undone.It has settled now and she was not sure what she was going to do,most likely sell her ass at god knows where. I still love here and could not stand the thought of that, so I sorta became like a poppa figure and
now send her a small amount so she can continue with English school and stay with her grand parents. My question is this, do Thai girls ever really love their farongs??? or is it always for money???
Really,I guess I'm asking do you think she could ever love me or will it always be about money.
