This interesting. Because when I eat KFC in Thailand it tastes same as it does here.
I curious. Did you mention what part of Thailand your wife from before?
As for the rest of your post. I sorry. I think you need to go to psychatrist because you obviously crazy and not know good food when you taste it! Everything you said would make normal and smart people drool with excitement to eat. I understand if you always eat McDonalds before and sometime Taco Bell for Mexican food that Thai food might be too much for you to handle. Same a little boy have scooter all his life and then someone give him keys to Ferrari.
Do not worry. I sure with 20 more years of teaching by your wife you will appreciate how lucky you have it right now. Just think-you get home cooked Thai food all the time. That is paradise for most people!
;-)
KHWAN
--- In
asianamericanromanc e@yahoogroups. com, "Just For Birds" <justforbirds@ ...> wrote:
>
> aryeh@ wrote:
> > To the people who are in a relationship- what do you think is the most
> difficult part of having a relationship with an Asian woman?
>
>
>
>
>
> The food. The Food!
>
> My GAWD!
>
> It took several years before I could convince my Thai wife to QUIT putting
> chili peppers in the macaroni and cheese.
>
> You just can't imagine.
>
> There's something sacrilegious about changing the original KD recipe.
> Unholy! Demonical!
>
> Chili peppers go in everything. My GAWD!
>
> Our grocery bill has them little red peppers on it every week end. Where do
> they go? No wonder I burn at both ends!
>
> And then; there's that paste that's made from chili peppers, some weeds
> (they call them herbs) and more chili peppers and some fish sauce.
>
> I had thought of getting a patent and marketing it as paint remover, except
> the MSDS on it would never pass.
>
> Anyways: that goes into everything; Nam Prik I think it's called.
>
> The home made stuff will chase you out of the house for the day when it's
> being fired up on the kitchen burner.
>
> The up side to this is; no self-respecting N.A. bugs, mosquitoes or other
> pests will come within 3 km.
>
> So: you save on pesticides and rodent killing chemicals.
>
> Just put a spoon of it out in the garden and watch slugs wither and roaches
> turn upside down.
>
> It's almost sad to see their little legs scrabbling to get away, but; they
> are upside down and cannot go anywhere.
>
> Of course; you best buddies won't drop by with beer anymore, neither, so
> there's the trade-off there.
>
> Get's a tad expensive when you gotta show up at your best buds place with a
> 40-ozer of Blue Label in order to hide out from the "fragrance" of Nam Prik.
>
>
>
> Well:
>
> If it's not that; it's rice at every meal. It's almost like Dr. Seuss's
> "Green Eggs & Ham" rhyme.
>
> "You can eat rice at any meal", and; you will.
>
> Thai Jasmine rice is like eating white Mars Bars minus the chocolate.
>
> It's complete sugar; or the next best thing to refined sugar.
>
> You'll gain weight like a Sumo Wrestler on Thai Jasmine rice.
>
> Within a few years; diabetes for sure.
>
> I think that's how Thai women keep their husbands; feed 'em up
>
> like hogs to market so's they get so chubby and panoramic no one else wants
> 'em.
>
> Plus; once fattened up; husbands can't run all that quick neither; easier to
> catch when they go astray.
>
> Just you try fitting into your old clothes after 3-5 years of marriage with
> an Asian wife.
>
> You might have been suave and debonair when you got married; it's all in
> your head now, bubba.
>
> Better be looking at Addidas stretchy pants at Costco; the cotton chinos
> will pop at the seams and there are laws against public indecency.
>
>
>
> Oh; and then there is sticky Thai rice; it's soaked in coconut milk before
> it's cooked so the
>
> sugar and caloric content spike up to instant heart failure range.
>
> Get the defibrillation paddles out and have them setting close by the dinner
> table, bubba
>
> (*Note: a taser works too, 75,000v minimum; no more than 2 jolts/min; 5 max.
> and then close the lid).
>
> Ask Rodney King; the real truth of the matter is he was caught running from
> an LA Thai restaurant
>
> where he'd consumed too many chili peppers (5*s food) and some Sticky Thai
> rice.
>
> He was racing to a hospital when he was pulled over; the rest is history.
>
>
>
> And then the fish.
>
> They will pick out the ugliest fish in the market, bring it home, fry it up
> with a heaping
>
> dose of Nam Prik (again: what mad man came up with that recipe?) and serve
> it up to you like
>
> you are royalty and have had a delicacy put in front of you.
>
> Food of the Gods.
>
> Head and all; complete with those sad, beseeching, bulging black eye balls
> glaring up at you.
>
> A little queasy?
>
> No problem; she'll eat the head including those eyeballs and toss off the
> scaly skin, pull the bones out and you can have the meat.
>
> And thank you for letting her eat all the good parts. YIKES! Sorry Nemo.
>
>
>
> Don't you ever complain about the cooking, though. Ah! Ah! Ah!
>
> You will soon discover that you must certainly sleep at some point in time.
>
> Sadly you must close your eyes with the knowledge that she knows where all
> the sharp utensils in the house are.
>
> ***Note to self: this goes for any thoughts of infidelity, too.***
>
> ** Public Warning: Complaints to the cook can be hazardous to your health.**
>
>
>
> With that in mind; Thailand has become world renown for their hospitals' and
> doctors' abilities at micro-surgery
>
> for the great quantity of penises that must be re-attached annually (true
> fact, my little homebodies).
>
> So: don't be going "butterfly" in North America.
>
> The doctors and nurses here will just look at your shriveled up bloodless
> appendage and ask if you'd like a gender re-assignment.
>
> So: if you're going to philander; do it in Thailand so's you can return with
> the same tone of voice and function like the man you think you want to be.
>
> Maybe a tad shorter and smarter, but; in basically the same gender condition
> (you definitely won't want to return gender neutral).
>
>
>
> And then there's that little concrete bowl and club that is used to smash
> everything.
>
> I don't know how much I've spent on food processors, blenders and a Magic
> Bullet to help her out with her food preparations.
>
> They reject electricity. Yup; didn't grow up with electricity so why start
> with technology, now?
>
>
>
> And then; everything gets unplugged and locked up.
>
> I go out on the porch to shovel the snow, come back and I'm locked out.
>
> The reason? "Honey' a robber might come in while you're out"
>
> My GAWD! I'm right there; mind you almost passed out from shoveling 2 metric
> tonnes of snow, but; I'm there.
>
> Gasping and wheezing like Thomas the Tank Engine, red faced and shaking.
>
> Who would sneak in the front door past me over 1.5 metres (like 5') of snow
> and what would they steal?
>
> Maybe the Abominable Snow Man looking for the Nam Prik
> recipe?..... .hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm mm.....an idea blossoms.
>
>
>
> But; there is some balance.
>
> Try getting your Asian honey to say "Squirrel"
>
> That will keep her busy for a few weeks at the very least.
>
> Since there is no equivalent to "squi" nor "rr" nor "l" in any known Asian
> language;
>
> and since "l" and "r" become somewhat interchangeable; this will keep her
> thoughtful for some time.
>
> Possibly years.
>
> Of course you will have to learn how to pronounce "ng" with aplomb.
>
> For a tone deaf fat old white fart like me; this has kept me stumped for 15
> years, now.
>
>
>
> Those are just a few of the difficulties I can share with you.
>
>
>
> Jerry
>
> (still alive, with all parts functioning, diabetic, but somewhat pickled
> from Nam Prik & chili peppers)
>
