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KHWAN
Online dating brings hope and frustration
Online dating renews women's hope in love and sex, but can be just as
disappointing as the real-life dating scene, according to new
Canadian research.
Susan Frohlick, an anthropology professor at the University of
Manitoba in Winnipeg, says the women she surveyed gained a sense of
empowerment from their online dating experiences.
But they still wanted the man to make the first move and expected him
pick up the tab.
"Women are finding it as a useful tool to enter into the dating
world, they find that it's safe, they find that they can be a little
more bold than they would in face-to-face relationships," Frohlick
said of her survey, which looks at how women over 30 view online
dating.
"But, at the same time, they are experiencing frustration because it
does seem that the Internet in many ways is just the same old bar
scene."
Complaints include a preponderance of men who are looking for much
younger women, as well as men who misrepresent their looks, interests
or marital status, or who show little interest in moving the
relationship offline, she said.
"There's not much of a difference between the virtual world and the
real world," said Linda, 33, a Toronto professional who has used an
online dating site on and off, three or four times for a few months
each time.
"It's sad and equally as frustrating."
Linda says she knows it can work out, noting that a friend met her
husband after spending more than two years on different Web sites,
but she admits she's given up on the game.
"At least when you're in the bar, you know what they look like," she
said, citing examples of meeting bald men whose profile pictures
displayed a full head of hair.
"A lot more successful, attractive women are using these tools -- I
don't think the men match up."
Lori Miller, a singles and dating expert for www.lavalife.com in
Toronto, says dating via the Web can mimic the bar scene. But it also
gives women the chance to approach and meet dozens of men while
knowing a little something about them beforehand.
"You're literally thrown into the largest singles bar," she said. "It
is a lot of work, it is the luck of the draw just like being in that
coffee shop and meeting the one."
Frohlick's small survey, to be completed in April, is questioning up
to 25 Canadian women about their online dating habits. She hopes it
will become a pilot for a far larger survey of women across North
America.
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