This is all good advise from Rob and you should take it.
I have a little story to tell. Weird, funny and true.
Gina and I have a 35 year old nephew in Taiwan.
He has never married but has had the same girl friend for years.
She has wanted to marry but he hesitated because his income was low.
Recently his business has improved greatly.
He went to his father and said,"Father I have to marry her because I
held her hand when we crossed the street."
On May 24th they had a fancy engagement party. They exchanged rings.
She served tea to his parents and hers.
Gina says it will probably be 6 months waiting for the wedding.
This story will not help you with your problem but you can expect
anything to be different in Asia.
I wish you much success with your love life.
Dale
--- In asianamericanromance@yahoogroups.com, "Rob Lorenson"
<rlorenson@...> wrote:
>
> Do you speak Chinese? Have you gone to China yourself to speak to
the
> parents? A book or story isn't going to convince them. That's
just being
> lazy. You yourself are going to have to do that. And learn
Chinese before
> you go. Reading, writing, and speaking. If you don't know
already. That
> will impress the parents, and any siblings she might have. Because
that
> will show that you give a crap about her, her family, and her
culture. Not
> learning Chinese, or anything about China, shows that you couldn't
care less
> about her family or her culture. Sorry to be harsh, but that's the
truth.
>
> I was in very good standing with the parents and sister of the girl
I was
> seeing because:
>
> 1. I travelled to China to meet them. If you have not already.
Getting a
> Visa is easy; just go to your local Chinese embassy EARLY IN THE
MORNING
> with the necessary IDs (passport and other stuff, I forget -- it's
on the
> website), fill out the Visa application, and then a month or so
later you'll
> get your passport back with the travel Visa in it. If your gf is
from HK,
> however, you do not need a visa. American citizens do not need a
visa to
> travel to HK, Macau, or Taiwan. However, if you want to travel
from HK to
> mainland China, you DO need a Visa. If you want to travel from
mainland
> China to HK and then back into mainland China, you need to have a
re-entry
> Visa. Because if you have a onetime visa, once you leave mainland
China,
> you cannot return. BTW, HK is "Hong Kong" if you didn't figure
that our
> already.
>
> I believe that an American citizen does not need a Visa to enter the
> autonomous Uyghur regions, either. But I may be mistaken. Each
autonomous
> region in China have their own governments, and most are American-
friendly.
> However, the Uyghur regions are mostly Islamic, so they may have
recently
> changed their policies. When I was there in 2002, I did not need a
Visa; I
> travelled throughout the Xinjiang province for approximately 45
days. I
> then crossed the border into the autonomous Inner-Mongolia region,
which is
> part of China (not to be mistaken with Outer-Mongolia which is its
own
> country), until I was caught without a Visa and extradited to HK to
catch a
> plane to America. I have travelled extensively through China.
>
> 2. I speak, read and write Mandarin. Not fluently, but I am quite
good at
> it. When dealing with people from a culture not your own, it is
much
> appreciated if you can communicate with them in their own
language. Never
> expect someone to communicate with you in your language.
>
> 3. I learned their dialect (in their case, Shanghainese). I
didn't let on
> that I knew their dialect, heheh. I wanted to hear what they said
about me.
> They would speak to me in Mandarin; they would speak about me in
> Shanghainese when I was around. It was kind of funny.
>
> 4. I brought them appropriate gifts (the mother likes to knit, so
I brought
> her some good quality yarn; the father likes to drink, so I brought
him some
> decent quality Scotch, and I bought the sister's daughter some
English
> children's books, including a copy of the one I made for my nephew.
> Appropriate gifts aren't to buy affection. They're good will
gestures.
> Gifts to buy affection are pathetic attempts at vanity, and are
seen as
> such. Lavish gifts are considered vain; useful gifts are
considered good
> will.
>
> BTW, I'm not dating her anymore. She broke up with me, and I don't
know
> why. It's weird. I suspect she was cheating on me, because a
couple of
> weeks before the break-up she was acting very strange and elusive.
She was
> starting to say all these weird things like she was trying to get
rid of me.
>
> Ehh.... women..... Can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em.
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