parents? A book or story isn't going to convince them. That's just being
lazy. You yourself are going to have to do that. And learn Chinese before
you go. Reading, writing, and speaking. If you don't know already. That
will impress the parents, and any siblings she might have. Because that
will show that you give a crap about her, her family, and her culture. Not
learning Chinese, or anything about China, shows that you couldn't care less
about her family or her culture. Sorry to be harsh, but that's the truth.
I was in very good standing with the parents and sister of the girl I was
seeing because:
1. I travelled to China to meet them. If you have not already. Getting a
Visa is easy; just go to your local Chinese embassy EARLY IN THE MORNING
with the necessary IDs (passport and other stuff, I forget -- it's on the
website), fill out the Visa application, and then a month or so later you'll
get your passport back with the travel Visa in it. If your gf is from HK,
however, you do not need a visa. American citizens do not need a visa to
travel to HK, Macau, or Taiwan. However, if you want to travel from HK to
mainland China, you DO need a Visa. If you want to travel from mainland
China to HK and then back into mainland China, you need to have a re-entry
Visa. Because if you have a onetime visa, once you leave mainland China,
you cannot return. BTW, HK is "Hong Kong" if you didn't figure that our
already.
I believe that an American citizen does not need a Visa to enter the
autonomous Uyghur regions, either. But I may be mistaken. Each autonomous
region in China have their own governments, and most are American-friendly.
However, the Uyghur regions are mostly Islamic, so they may have recently
changed their policies. When I was there in 2002, I did not need a Visa; I
travelled throughout the Xinjiang province for approximately 45 days. I
then crossed the border into the autonomous Inner-Mongolia region, which is
part of China (not to be mistaken with Outer-Mongolia which is its own
country), until I was caught without a Visa and extradited to HK to catch a
plane to America. I have travelled extensively through China.
2. I speak, read and write Mandarin. Not fluently, but I am quite good at
it. When dealing with people from a culture not your own, it is much
appreciated if you can communicate with them in their own language. Never
expect someone to communicate with you in your language.
3. I learned their dialect (in their case, Shanghainese). I didn't let on
that I knew their dialect, heheh. I wanted to hear what they said about me.
They would speak to me in Mandarin; they would speak about me in
Shanghainese when I was around. It was kind of funny.
4. I brought them appropriate gifts (the mother likes to knit, so I brought
her some good quality yarn; the father likes to drink, so I brought him some
decent quality Scotch, and I bought the sister's daughter some English
children's books, including a copy of the one I made for my nephew.
Appropriate gifts aren't to buy affection. They're good will gestures.
Gifts to buy affection are pathetic attempts at vanity, and are seen as
such. Lavish gifts are considered vain; useful gifts are considered good
will.
BTW, I'm not dating her anymore. She broke up with me, and I don't know
why. It's weird. I suspect she was cheating on me, because a couple of
weeks before the break-up she was acting very strange and elusive. She was
starting to say all these weird things like she was trying to get rid of me.
Ehh.... women..... Can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em.
-----Original Message-----
From: asianamericanromance@yahoogroups.com
[mailto:asianamericanromance@yahoogroups.com] On Behalf Of Dennis Christner
Sent: Friday, May 30, 2008 10:04
To: asianamericanromance@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [asianamericanromance] newbie has question: Any suggestions how I
can convince my girlfriends parents,
she/they are still in China, to accept American men. They have a stigma
attached to American Men. They believe we are violent and Playboy types.
She has talked and talked to them, but alas they are old and set in
their ways. Maybe a book or Chinese saying someone has come across, or
a story of some type that may ease down the walls between us. She hates
to go against her elderly parents.
Thanks for Any help. Dennis in Norther Calif.
------------------------------------
Yahoo! Groups Links
<*> To visit your group on the web, go to:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/asianamericanromance/
<*> Your email settings:
Individual Email | Traditional
<*> To change settings online go to:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/asianamericanromance/join
(Yahoo! ID required)
<*> To change settings via email:
mailto:asianamericanromance-digest@yahoogroups.com
mailto:asianamericanromance-fullfeatured@yahoogroups.com
<*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
asianamericanromance-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
<*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to:
No comments:
Post a Comment