Asian American Romance: [asianamericanromance] Re: My 25 cents worth

Thank you Jerry for the very sweet and insightful post. Thank you for sharing so much of your story.

I think this is a good example of what a good relationship can be.

So I curious. What made you choose the woman that you did over all of the others that you wrote to? Did you ever meet in person the other girls you wrote to?

KHWAN

--- In asianamericanromance@yahoogroups.com, "Just For Birds" <justforbirds@...> wrote:
>
> I am married to my Thai wife for 15 years.
>
> We have a great life.
>
> Two wonderful, smart, good looking kids who are the tops of their class.
>
> For me; when I started looking; I was 39 years old, never married.
>
> Lots of dating, of course.
>
> But; never that special one.
>
> I ended up living in the San Francisco/Bay area.
>
> I found, at the age of 39; it was difficult to meet a woman who had not been
> married or didn't have a lot of "baggage".
>
> I did date women with kids; always the same comment: "Well; you could never
> be their dad. They have a dad"
>
> Or; I had to bear the anger they held from prior relationships.
>
> Geeze: I just gave up.
>
>
>
> So; I decided I just really wanted to get married and signed up for several
> of the "mail order bride" type magazines.
>
> This being before the internet stuff.
>
> I wrote to well over 100 ladies, but; married almost the 1st one that wrote
> back.
>
> We wrote for about 6 months, I went to meet her and we wrote for 3 more
> years.
>
>
>
> For me; I like the way Asian women move.
>
> They have this casual way about them when they move their hands or just turn
> around.
>
> The shape of the eyes, the shiny black hair.
>
> It is a gestalt of movement.
>
>
>
> Many men think they are going to "save" an Asian lady from their culture of
> servitude
>
> to men and likely think they will be on the receiving end of a fair amount
> of servitude gratitude and adoration.
>
>
>
> Listen to the words in the song "My China Doll" by David Bowie.
>
>
>
> I could escape this feeling
> With my China Girl
> I feel a wreck without my
> Little China Girl
> I hear her heart beating
> Loud as thunder
> Saw their stars crashing
>
> I'm a mess without my
> Little China Girl
> Wake up mornings where's my
> Little China Girl
> I hear her heart's beating
> Loud as thunder
> Saw their stars crashing down
>
> I feel a-tragic like I'm Marlon Brando
> When I look at my china girl
> I could pretend that nothing really meant too much
> When I look at my china girl
>
> I stumble into town just like a sacred cow
> Visions of swastikas in my head
> Plans for everyone
> It's in the whites of my eyes
>
> My little china girl
> You shouldn't mess with me
> I'll ruin everything you are
> I'll give you television
> I'll give you eyes of blue
> I'll give you a man who want to rule the world
>
>
>
> I think many of us go into this thinking we will be saviors only to become
> enslaved by our own innate needs.
>
>
>
> For me; I discovered that the petite girl of my dreams had as good or better
> an education than I did.
>
> Her ability to manage money (and me) has made us financially stable.
>
> She is strong emotionally and morally.
>
> Many times I am humbled and must strive to keep up.
>
> And; the sense of family. Her family loves me and I am welcome at any time.
>
> There is no bickering in her family that is often the case in a NA family.
>
> In North America our families are all disparate entities; split up and going
> our own ways.
>
>
>
> We've had a good 15 years; no fights, some sadness (deaths in the families),
> but: a lot of great times, memories and shared endeavors.
>
> The best is that rather than (like many NA women) worrying about the break
> up or dissolution of the marriage/relationship (the glass is ½ empty); I
> think Asian women think the other way; how the marriage/relationship will
> work (the glass is ½ full). And so: for me: I ended up with a full partner
> who is headed in the same direction I am with significantly similar goals
> and morals.
>
>
>
> My advice would be to set aside any pre-conceived notions you all might have
> and concentrate on being the best you can be for the person you have decided
> to look for.
>
> You will likely get more than you bargained for; like catching ahold of a
> tigers tail.
>
> Be prepared to meet the challenge.
>
> If you are financially or morally bankrupt; it won't work.
>
> It's not working for you now; so: why share your misery?
>
> I had to straighten out my life somewhat before I took on the writing and
> before I could contemplate being a husband.
>
> But; in the end: what I have is like I won a lottery.
>
>
>
> So: that's my thoughts.
>
>
>
> Jerry in Canada.
>
>
>
> From: asianamericanromance@yahoogroups.com
> [mailto:asianamericanromance@yahoogroups.com] On Behalf Of Khwan
> Sent: Wednesday, March 10, 2010 2:36 PM
> To: asianamericanromance@yahoogroups.com
> Subject: [asianamericanromance] Re: Couples Questions or Problems or
> Discussions?
>
>
>
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>
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