I think you are absolutely correct!! One thing that started our relationship off on the right foot is the fact that neither one of us was looking for a partner, so the first thing to develop was an appreciation of each other and things went on from there.
John S.
In a message dated 6/15/2010 2:26:42 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time, djtruo@yahoo.com writes:
That is quite interesting.
I believe that the most important factor in predicting success in a relationship is the ability to be yourself.
When two people meet for a first date, both sides automatically try to look nice and act nice to create a good first impression, which means that what each side sees on first glance is not an accurate overall view of the other person.
But as a relationship continues, two different things happen, gradually and simultaneously: (1) both people automatically tend to return to their *true self*, and (2) each side figures out the other side's rules, expectations, preferences, etc., and makes adjustments to try to accommodate them.
I believe that the health of a relationship depends primarily on how well (1) and (2) can co-exist. In other words, I think it's most important that each side feels that being his/her true self is acceptable to the other side, and that each side does not feel need to maintain a fake show (to pretend to be something he/she is not) in order to be loved/accepted by the other side.
--- In asianamericanromance@yahoogroups.com, "Khwan" <khwan@...> wrote:
>
> I found this list on line...what do you think? Is it true?
>
>
>
>
> 10 Things That Men Want in a Woman
>
> One of Glamour's dating bloggers was inspired by a "30 Rock" monologue describing what one woman wants in a long-term partner. He polled some male friends and included some of his own thoughts, resulting in this wish-list for women.
>
> "I want someone who will be monogamous and nice to his mother. And I want someone who likes musicals, but knows to just shut his mouth when I'm watching Lost. And I want someone who thinks being really into cars is lame, and strip clubs are gross. I want someone who will actually empty the dishwasher instead of just taking out forks as needed — like I do. I want someone with clean hands and feet and beefy forearms, like a damned Disney prince. And I want him to genuinely like me. Even when I'm old. And that's what I want.
> — Liz Lemon, 30 Rock
>
> I probably quote 30 Rock too much. The above was Liz Lemon's impromptu speech to her "Singles Dodgeball" competitor on a recent episode (his response: "You make much English. This is fun alcoholics meeting.") It's stuck in my head, not just because it was the best moment in prime time, because it was a real-ish list, full of flaws, fantasies and freshness. It caused me to poll some of my guy friends, and come up with a list of our own:
>
> 1.& 2. We want someone who will be monogamous and nice to our mother.
>
> 3. And we want someone will not make us go with them to musicals, or shopping, or the grocery store. Though the zoo is fine. We kind of like the zoo.
>
> 3. & 4. We want someone who thinks it's hot that we go to boxing class, but who will think it's "mature" when we don't fight people who try to start stuff when we're out.
>
> 5. We want someone who will buy both Sea Salt and Vinegar and Mesquite BBQ Miss Vickie's chips when we stop for gas, because she knows we can never decide between them.
>
> 6. We want someone who can make fun of us, and others, and get a real laugh.
>
> 7. We want someone who pays for things occasionally, things like trips, and beers, and candy.
>
> 8. & 9. We want someone with no expectations, who doesn't cling to us like a burr and has her own life and likes it that we do too.
>
> 10. We want someone. Not just anyone. For a while. And then longer.
>
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