Thank you! I can write a whole book on all the "hurdles" I had gone through before meeting my wife.
When I was younger (teens and early 20's), my parents wanted me to only consider Asian women, and preferably only those of my own specific ethnicity (Taiwanese). My early dating experience was all bogus stuff that you might not even consider "dating." It was meetings with Asian women that had been arranged by my parents and her parents. During each of those "dates," everything was superficial BS; both me and my "date" said and did everything according to some protocol that had been made in advance by both sets of parents. None of those "dates" turned into any kind of relationship. Each time, I'd find out later that my "date" wasn't interested in Asian men, and that the only reason she saw me was because her parents had forced her to. In at least some cases, my "date" had a white boyfriend that her parents were trying to get her away from.
As I got a little older (mid to late 20's), my parents started getting impatient about me finding a wife, and in doing so they said it was ok for me to date outside of my race. For the next several years, however, I had no luck at all trying to find any white (or Asian) dates. I joined several dating services, but they also were unable to find matches for me. After having taken my money (of course), they said that it was because their female members were unwilling to date an Asian man. Over the course of those few years, in order to be able to get any matches at all, I kept repeatedly lowering my standards (specifications on what I was interested in) until everything said "doesn't matter." That's when I finally got 3 matches: one that weighed about 500 pounds and was wheelchair-bound and mentally retarded; one that had Turner's syndrome (XO chromosome which is legally considered female in humans, but considered male in other animal species) and physically resembled the hunchback of Notre Dame; and one that was almost 3 times my age and had spent most of her life in a mental institution.
When I was about 30 years old, I finally found someone who turned out to be a great partner, and we had a great relationship that lasted about 2 years. The only reason why that relationship ended was because it got sabotaged by my parents who disapproved of her. That girlfriend was in all ways a great match for me: she was a well-educated professional with advanced degrees, had the most wonderful pleasant personality, and had the kind of physical appearance that could probably make her succeed in professional modeling if she was to ever to pursue that. She also had no real negative stuff; no drugs, no illegal stuff, no excessive baggage (i.e. children, ex-husbands, etc.). There was just ONE reason why my parents disapproved of her: she was black. I found out then that my parents were still adamantly opposed to me dating a black woman (even though they were ok with me dating whites). In my parents' eyes, nothing else about her mattered once they found out she was black. They w ent so far as to declare that they would permanently "disown" me if I married her or any other black woman. What makes this all even more ridiculous is that my black girlfriend actually had about the same skin color as I did (she was mixed race, but had just enough "black blood" to offically be considered African-American).
At the time I split up with my black girlfriend, my parents were forcefully trying to get me to go overseas to find a wife. They went so far as to contact people in the Far East, and they claimed that in several cases, after their discussions with them, both the woman and her parents were willing to sign all marital papers before I even made the trip to meet them. Those people obviously didn't know me personally, and it just showed what the promise of US citizenship and huge material wealth can do to Southeast Asians of very poor impoverished background.
I managed to meet my current (white American) wife just in time, just before I was to practically get forced onto an airplane to go overseas. She and I have now been married for about the past 10 years.
--- In asianamericanromance@yahoogroups.com, simanton@... wrote:
>
> Glad you won through! I'm sure we'd like your insights on those hurdles!
>
> John S.
>
>
> In a message dated 6/29/2010 11:45:33 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time,
> djtruo@... writes:
>
>
>
>
> I'm an Asian man who's married to a white American woman.
> I can definitely relate to your post. Prior to my marriage, I had
> experienced all the "hurdles" in finding dates. At some point, my parents were
> talking about sending me overseas to find a wife.
>
> --- In _asianamericanromance@yahoogroups.com_
> (mailto:asianamericanromance@yahoogroups.com) , "Vida L" <ucmas2000@> wrote:
> >
> > Hi All,
> > It looks like these posting are for Western men wanting Asian women.Look
> the other way around...with the all the Asian women having gone or come
> back with goodies, Asian men have more hurdles.You think they do not need to
> advance let alone go abroad.?
> > Are there people out there who can help Asian men too.Cheers
> >
>
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