[asianamericanromance] Re: New Guy--Captain Jerry



Hi Jerry,
 
I have read your letter and also read what others have said.  Cultural differences can indeed be both vast and troublesome, especially in new relationships.  There can be many underlying problems that are not being addressed by your wife to you at this time.  Jerry, I cannot stress enough, the importance of getting her off the couch and back into your bedroom.  I am sure you know that one of the main keys to any relationship is the ability for couples to communicate everything with each other.
 
Please Jerry, fight your very hardest to persuade your wife to sit down with you and share her thoughts.  The two of you may need to bring in an outside person that does really know both of you, so that she does not feel like you are ganging up on her.  Have you tried addressing the issues and problems with your or her family?  Sometimes our parents and/or other family members have already experienced what you are going through now and can give you valid solutions.
 
I really wish you the very best in your relationship.  You obviously love your wife to the utmost and may be willing to endeavor outside of the box for an answer to your present and future problems.
 
Please keep the group updated, we are all here for one another.
 
Frederick Whiteside


--- On Wed, 6/23/10, sullivan.john@ymail.com <sullivan.john@ymail.com> wrote:

From: sullivan.john@ymail.com <sullivan.john@ymail.com>
Subject: [asianamericanromance] Re: New Guy
To: asianamericanromance@yahoogroups.com
Date: Wednesday, June 23, 2010, 12:49 AM

 
Dear Captain Jerry:

Sorry to hear from anyone having too many negative experiences in a relationship. May I ask which "cultural differences" seem to be at the root of the problems?

John

--- In asianamericanromance@yahoogroups.com, "Captain Jerry" <CaptainJerry@...> wrote:
>
> Hi,
> I'm new here. My name is Jerry [I've been called "Captain Jerry" for a
> very long time!] I live in Southern California [The O.C. Baby!] and I
> work for KIA Motors America as a Senior Software Engineer [which just
> means that I'm a programmer that's been around the block a few...
> hundred times!] -- About 2 years ago I was in the middle of a very
> devastating divorce, when I met this wonderful girl [online] from China.
> We clicked BIG TIME, and embarked on getting her to the U.S. to be my
> wife. I went to visit her once, and it took us 9 more months to get her
> here. We were married 10 days after she stepped off the plane. Our
> relationship has been up and down since... Usually good, sometimes
> great, sometimes just okay, but when we're having problems, they are
> really bad. She almost immediately jumps to wanting to go back to
> China, permanently. Yes, she misses her family, but she is constantly
> online with them, and doesn't seem to be bothered that she can't
> actually be with them in person. I think our problems are more in the
> area of cultural differences, but I'll get to that in a new post!
> [She's been sleeping on the couch for the past 2 nights :-(
> Jerry
>




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